Bullied? Confidence discourages bullies. Stand Tall. (Continued from Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids.) You change the way you present yourself and the bullies’ attitude toward you will change too. Change your attitude and approach. Above all, remember that if you are bullied, your confidence will discourage the bullies.
Since bullies tend to pick on the kids that they think are different or weak, the way you present yourself is important.
These are the suggestions I made:
- Approach the kids who are bullying you and look them in the eyes.
- Don’t look down and keep your arms at your sides and your feet about shoulder width apart.
- Stay calm and don’t show any emotion.
- Keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bullies as you do this.
- Tell them to stop the bullying. Say something like, “I know you think you’re funny but you’re not.”
Because I know Eric so well and because he told me a lot about the bullies, I suggested a few more things for him to say. I suggested that he talk with them in the lunchroom where there were adults around.
Confidence Discourages Bullies
Eric did a great job. When he got home, he told me some of the things he said to the bullies.
“What I eat doesn’t make me cool or not cool. I want you to stop making fun of my food. We could have a great time being friends since we like to do a lot of the same things. That won’t happen if you keep up with the jokes about my food. I know you like to skateboard, so do I. In fact, I have a quarter pipe ramp at my house and I can do kick turns, ollies, manuals, kickflips and a lot more. I can do the black diamonds on my snowboard and by the way, I play soccer and kicked 4 goals in our last game. Because I can’t eat the same kinds of foods that you can eat shouldn’t make any difference to you or anyone else. See ya around!”
Then, how cool is this? Eric saw that confidence discourages bullies as he started to leave. He turned and walked away with good posture and his head held high. As he headed for the door of the lunchroom, he heard Jack call. “Hey Eric, wait up. What you eat isn’t a reason for us not to be friends. Did you really kick four goals at your last game?”
Eric followed the suggestions and proudly and respectfully stood up for himself and it worked.
Think about how you can show your confidence to others.
Bullied kids are depressed kids and I know that too well. Do you want to know why? Well, I’ll tell you. I have been bullied a lot and I know how it feels. It’s all about being different in some way. Kids who are like all the other kids usually are not bullied. You would be surprised at how even a little difference can cause unkind kids to bully. Parents may not have any idea that there is something about their child that can make him or her a target of bullying.
Here is an example of what I am saying. Oh! Before I forget! If you are new here, you might not know that I am a dog. In fact, I am a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. That makes me very different because I don’t have a tail like other dogs. Pembroke Welsh Corgis don’t have tails! I bet you didn’t know that!
There is another reason that I understand bullying. I use a wheelchair because I had a bad accident. If you are interested in finding out more about me, you can look here.
Now that you know a little about me, I will go on with what I started to say.
The other day, my mom and I were visiting some friends that were having a pool party. My friend was very sad and at first, he didn’t tell me why. Then he “spilled” everything to me when the adults went into the house. Because we were alone, he told me that he was being bullied at school. It was hard to believe because he is one very cool kid. He is smart, handsome, athletic and very kind.
Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids – I Can Help Build Self-Esteem
He told me that he was being bullied at lunchtime because of what he ate. He has a sensitivity to some foods that have wheat, sugar, and dyes. That means he can’t have sandwiches or sweet or colored foods. His mom packs his lunch with nuts, meats, vegetables, fruits and stuff like that. He was very depressed and down in the dumps about it.
We talked for a long time and I listened to the things he had to say. Because I understand bullying, there were some ideas I shared with him to help his situation. I could see that he was not as sad after we talked. And I was sure he would feel better after he saw the bullying kids the next time.
Please come back to find out what I said and how the kids at school reacted.
Empathy! Feelings! The explanation of feelings helps to teach empathy and instill kindness in children. Kids can be mean! And the best way to teach them kindness is to help them see how others feel.
A little girl who comes to school wearing pretty and expensive clothes makes an unkind remark to a little girl who doesn’t wear that type of clothes. Why? Because her parents can’t afford them or she doesn’t feel comfortable in them.
Sympathy and empathy are not the same thing. Children can be sympathetic when they view a situation through their own eyes and or experiences.
In contrast, empathy requires that a person has the ability to “step outside” of himself or herself. That person must enter the “internal” world of another person. When this happens, a person can experience the other’s emotions from that person’s vantage point.
Sometimes situations, events or people can jump start a child’s ability to empathize. When children’s hearts are touched, often they automatically react with empathy. When empathy comes into play, a child’s attachment to himself or herself takes a “back seat” to trying to help. The following video tells it all.
When The Best Of Us Steps Up, Our Nation Stands A Little Taller…Share this…Credit to: Canadian Tire
Posted by Most Viral Web on Friday, February 17, 2017
In the picture above, the two children that Rugby is speaking to must be guided into a state of empathy if they don’t arrive at that state naturally. Maybe the little girl in the dress has been told that how someone dresses reflects her value. Maybe she has been taught that she is pretty too often and she begins to equate what she has and how she dresses with who she is. As young as she is, she may have become vain and self important.
Hence, an approach might be to ask her how she would feel if her parents could no longer purchase expensive clothes for her. What if she had to go to school in clothes like the other girl is wearing? How would she react if kids made fun of her and her clothes? Would she feel better if someone tried to understand how she is feeling and say or do things that might help her feel better?
Finally, a parent or teacher… or dog friend might tell a child how proud he or she will be if this child shows kindness and acceptance of the little girl who is so sad. Honest praise goes a long way!
Carol Dweck is our new hero because she really gets it! My older human sister is reading lots of things about her because she wants to be a great teacher someday. My sister told me some of the things that Carol Dweck has said and guess what? We think about a lot of things the same way. How cool is that?
Carol Dweck explains to parents and teachers that some kids who have challenges in their lives manage to succeed while others don’t. She uses cool words that mean a lot. She says that kids who try hard and persevere have something called a growth mindset. Hmmm… I guess I have a growth mindset too!
As you know, I am very smart but Carol Dweck is way smarter than I am. That’s because I am just a dog and she is a doctor. She said, “…when students had more of a growth mindset, they held the view that talents and abilities could be developed and that challenges were the way to do it.
Learning something new, something hard, sticking to things—that’s how you get smarter.” The cool thing is that I have said the same kinds of things about how I got so smart here on my blog and in my books. Well, except that I have said them in a way that kids understand. How cool is that? For an example, in The “Tail” of Rugby Jones: A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability, I said, “There are so many things that make people and animals different and that is a good thing. Just remember that you might need something like Zoomie to help you work hard and remind you to believe in yourself.”
My human mom taught me that, it’s so important to let children understand that failure is okay. Failure and mistakes are crucial for success to become a reality. Children need their parents to believe in their abilities, to be proud of their efforts and teach them how to learn from the negative events in their lives.
So now you know why Carol Dweck is our new hero. She gets it!
To the parents, students, teachers, bullying targets and bystanders, I ask you if this story applies to any of you? If it does, please change your thinking now. Please!
There were 500 students in a school. They all had similar names. Some of them were named Everybody. Some of them were named Somebody. Some were named Anybody and some were named Nobody.
When the students, teachers and parents found out that there was bullying going on in the school, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do something about it.
Anybody could have helped the situation but Nobody did.
Somebody got angry about the bullying going on because it was up to Everybody to do something to help the kids being bullied but Nobody did.
Everybody did absolutely nothing because they thought that Anybody could have helped to solve the problem.
Everybody thought that Anybody would help.
Nobody realized that Everybody would do nothing to help.
As it happened, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done to stop the bullying.
Photo by coltrane004