Category: Bullying

Bullied? Me Too!

bulliedBullied? Me too! To everyone who has been bullied, I get what it feels like. I get that all their mean words and jokes make us feel sad.  Being bullied is the pits. Here is the thing that you need to remember: Bullies are losers and those of us who are different are winners because we have had to overcome a lot. We can show the ones who bullied us that we are proud of our differences and let them know that their unkindness won’t bring us down. At least it won’t for very long but we won’t tell them that part.

This is what happened to me. A lot of kids made fun of me and bullied me. They laughed because I was different. You see, I am a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and Pembroke Welsh Corgis don’t have tails like other dogs. So, what? I think having no tail is pretty cool, don’t you? (When you look at a Pembroke Welsh Corgi from behind, you will see just how adorable we are.) They also bullied me because I couldn’t run and jump and play like the other dogs. They said, “What good is a dog that can’t play fetch? You are no good.” Well, I showed them. And I’ll tell you how.

Guess what? My human mom got me a wheelchair and it is the best wheelchair in the whole world. I named my wheelchair Zoomie because it is so special. Don’t you like it when special things like wheelchairs have names? I sure do.bullied

Now that I have Zoomie, I can run and play and even play fetch. In fact, I can go very fast! Sometimes I go even faster than the other dogs and that is way cool. After I got Zoomie, I went up to one of the kids who bullied me and dropped my ball in front of him. “What’s the matter?” I asked. “Are you afraid that I can play fetch just as well as your dog? Go on, throw it and watch me run.”

When the bully threw the ball, I got it every time. After that, I went up to him and asked, “Don’t you feel bad that you made fun of me? If you don’t feel bad, you should because I am a very cool dude of a dog. And you need to learn that being kind is way cooler that being mean. The kids who are liked the most are the kind ones. Nobody likes bullies.”

If you want to know more about me, you can find my books on Amazon. The first is for older kids and it is The “Tail” of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability and the second one is a rhyming book for younger kids titled The Diary of a Different Dog – Rugby Jones.   They are both pretty amazing if I do say so myself! Oh, by the way… in case you didn’t know, I am Rugby Jones!


Stop Bullying – Empathy
Stop Bullying – Empathy

Stop Bullying. If children learn at a young age the wonderment of empathy, bullying will not become part of their lives.

Do any of us understand what it means to be bullied? Maybe we remember being made fun of on the playground or at recess. Some of us were belittled about our grades or achievements. But in today’s world do we really understand what it feels like to be bullied?

Try to empathize with this boy. Someone begins to degrade his character. At first, people don’t seem to pay much attention. Then the he (the target) makes some mistake just like all people make mistakes. But this is different because he is the target. Everything changes. In a healthy world, those who were affected by the mistake would let him  know with constructive criticism. Then he could make amends and make sure that the mistake doesn’t happen again.

Stop Bullying

In a world where kindness, empathy, forgiveness and understanding are not present, the scenario is different. The bully can take a grain of truth and twist it so that those who witnessed the mistake will more easily believe the bully. Then is when a successful assassination of the target’s character takes place.

The target begins to see changes in the people around him. At first the changes are minor and he wonders if he is imagining it and brushes the thoughts away. Some people ask questions and innocently the target answers not realizing that his words will be twisted and used against him.

With the internet and teenagers, the damage is magnified. A text, an email, a post or a conversation can be passed along with great speed. The bully began solo but then more and more get on the “band wagon” and work with one goal in mind. They want to hurt the target for some reason.

To be continued.


Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy
Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy

bully - mother teaches empathyBully: Mother Teaches Empathy.

A mother hears her daughter badmouthing someone and worries that she is a bully. Later she finds out that her daughter is texting her friends about the same boy. She is saying unkind things and seems to take pleasure in putting him down.

The mother knows that her daughter is a good person and tries to find bulBully - mother teaches empathya way to teach her about the damage that she is doing. She wants her to understand the effect that her words will have on the boy so that she will stop being a bully. She wants her to understand that words cannot be taken back. She wants to teach her daughter empathy and how it would feel if someone did that to her.

Bully - mother teaches empathyShe has an idea. She tells her daughter to hammer a nail in the fence behind their house every time she says something unkind about the boy. At first, the daughter seems excited at the prospect of hammering nails and gossiping. After a few days, the mother looks out of the window and sees that her daughter has hammered a lot of nails into the fence.

She doesn’t appear to be as excited to be hammering nails as she was on the first day. For the next few days, the mother watches her daughter and sees that she is hammering fewer and fewer nails into the fence.bully - mother teaches empathy She says nothing.
bullyAfter a few days, the daughter comes to her mother and says that hammering the nails isn’t as much fun anymore. She says that she had stopped saying unkind things about the boy and being a bully. (Little did she know that the boy is on the other side of the fence. His heart is hurting. He doesn’t understand what he had done to make her want to bully him by  saying such unkind things about him.)

Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy

bully - mother teaches empathyThe mother waits a while and then asks her daughter how she would feel if someone had said the same things about her that she had said about the boy. Her daughter answers, “I guess I would feel bad.” The mother then asks her to write down the things she had said about the boy. Unhappily, the daughter begins her task by trying to remember all the things she had said. When she writes them down on paper, they seem far worse than when she had said them. They seemed mean.

bully - mother teaches empathyThe mother says, “The problem with unkind words is that they can never be taken back. Even if the person forgives you, the pain of what you said remains in the person’s heart.” Her daughter understands  but the mother isn’t finished. “Now, you need to go out to the fence and remove all of the nails you hammered into it. Remember that each nail represents an unkind word that you said about the boy. The daughter goes out and begins to remove the nails.

As she removes each nail and looks at the holes in the fence, she begins to understand. When she had removed all the nails and sees all the holes, she feels sad. The fence looks terrible and she thinks  about how terrible the boy must feel since she had said so many unkind things about him.

bullyShe walks closer to the fence and then she sees something through the holes. She sees the boy she had been spreading rumors about. She sees  how sad he looks and she feels  terrible. She realizes that she had destroyed the fence and broke his heart. She thinks  about her mom’s words, “The problem with unkind words is that they can never be taken back. Even if the person forgives you, the pain of what you said remains in the person’s heart.” She knows she can’t  fix the holes in the fence but she has another idea.

She walks over to the other side of the fence where the boy is standing. She sees him looking at the holes. She wonders how she could have been so unkind. Really, what had he done to her? She calls to him. bullyI am so sorry. I was mean and I feel terrible. It was then that she sees the tears in his eyes. “That’s okay,” he says. “I forgive you but I don’t understand what I did to make you want to hurt me so much.” She answers, “You were just being you and I couldn’t accept anyone who acted different from me. I was wrong to hurt you and I am sorry. How can I make it up to you?” He looks at her and says, “Maybe you could tell everyone that I’m not so bad after all.”

“I’ll do better than that. I am going to have a party just for you and invite my friends and your friends too. That way everyone will know that I was wrong and you forgive me. Maybe that way, we can put all of this behind us. What do you think? The boy answers, “I’m not sure. Maybe after a while, I would like that but not right now. Thanks anyway.”

With tears in her eyes, the daughter goes home to tell her mother what happened. “I tried to make it up to him but it didn’t work,” she says.

Her mother looks at her with great pride and understanding. “You made a mistake. You hurt someone when you talked behind his back in an unkind way. You apologized and admitted you were wrong. That took strength. You learned so many lessons this week. You learned that your actions do affect other people and that you must be careful of what you say and do. You learned that everything isn’t just about you.

You learned about compassion and empathy. Now you will be compassionate and empathize with others because you have learned how to walk in the other person’s shoes. You learned that you won’t build yourself up by tearing someone else down. And you learned that what you say about others doesn’t define them, it defines you. That’s a lot to learn in a few days. I am so very proud of you. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the boy  again. Maybe the next time, he will want to be your friend.

Bullied? Confidence Discourages Bullies: Stand Tall

Confidence Discourages BulliesBullied? Confidence discourages bullies. Stand Tall. (Continued from Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids.) You change the way you present yourself and the bullies’ attitude toward you will change too. Change your attitude and approach. Above all, remember that  if you are bullied, your confidence will discourage the bullies.

Since bullies tend to pick on the kids that they think are different or weak, the way you present yourself is important.

These are the suggestions I made:

  • Approach the kids who are bullying you and look them in the eyes.
  • Don’t look down and keep your arms at your sides and your feet about shoulder width apart.
  • Stay calm and don’t show any emotion.
  • Keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bullies as you do this.
  • Tell them to stop the bullying. Say something like, “I know you think you’re funny but you’re not.”

Because I know Eric so well and because he told me a lot about the bullies, I suggested a few more things for him to say.  I suggested that he talk with them in the lunchroom where there were adults around.

Confidence Discourages Bullies

Eric did a great job. When he got home, he told me some of the things he said to the bullies.

“What I eat doesn’t make me cool or not cool. I want you to stop making fun of my food. We could have a great time being friends since we like to do a lot of the same things. That won’t happen if you keep up with the jokes about my food.  I know you like to skateboard, so do I. In fact, I have a quarter pipe ramp at my house and I can do kick turns, ollies, manuals, kickflips and a lot more. I can do the black diamonds on my snowboard and by the way, I play soccer and kicked 4 goals in our last game. Because I can’t eat the same kinds of foods that you can eat shouldn’t make any difference to you or anyone else. See ya around!”

Then, how cool is this? Eric saw that confidence discourages bullies as he started to leave. He turned and walked away with good posture and his head held high. As he headed for the door of the lunchroom, he heard Jack call. “Hey Eric, wait up. What you eat isn’t a reason for us not to be friends. Did you really kick four goals at your last game?”

Eric followed the suggestions and proudly and respectfully stood up for himself and it worked.

Think about how you can show your confidence to others.

Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids – I Can Help Build Self-Esteem

bulliedBullied kids are depressed kids and I know that too well. Do you want to know why? Well, I’ll tell you. I have been bullied a lot and I know how it feels. It’s all about being different in some way. Kids who are like all the other kids usually are not bullied. You would be surprised at how even a little difference can cause unkind kids to bully. Parents may not have any idea that there is something about their child that can make him or her a target of bullying.

Here is an example of what I am saying. Oh! Before I forget! If you are new here, you might not know that I am a dog. In fact, I am a Pembroke Welsh Corgi.  That makes me very different because I don’t have a tail like other dogs. Pembroke Welsh Corgis don’t have tails! I bet you didn’t know that!

There is another reason that I understand bullying. I use a wheelchair because I had a bad accident. If you are interested in finding out more about me, you can look here.

Now that you know a little about me, I will go on with what I started to say.

The other day, my mom and I were visiting some friends that were having a pool party. My friend was very sad and at first, he didn’t tell me why. Then he “spilled” everything to me when the adults went into the house. Because we were alone, he told me that he was being bullied at school. It was hard to believe because he is one very cool kid. He is smart, handsome, athletic and very kind.

Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids – I Can Help Build Self-Esteem

He told me that he was being bullied at lunchtime because of what he ate. He has a sensitivity to some foods that have wheat, sugar, and dyes. That means he can’t have sandwiches or sweet or colored foods. His mom packs his lunch with nuts, meats, vegetables, fruits and stuff like that. He was very depressed and down in the dumps about it.

We talked for a long time and I listened to the things he had to say. Because I understand bullying, there were some ideas I shared with him to help his situation.  I could see that he was not as sad after we talked. And I was sure he would feel better after he saw the bullying kids the next time.

Please come back to find out what I said and how the kids at school reacted.

Enjoy Rugby Jones? Please spread the word :)

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