Tag: All

Bullying: Students – Parents – Teachers

bullying bystanders

To the parents, students, teachers, bullying targets and bystanders, I ask you if this story applies to any of you? If it does, please change your thinking now. Please!

There were 500 students in a school. They all had similar names.  Some of them were named Everybody. Some of them were named Somebody. Some were named Anybody and some were named Nobody.

When the students, teachers and parents found out that there was bullying going on in the school, Everybody was sure that Somebody would do something about it.

Anybody could have helped the situation but Nobody did.

Somebody got angry about the bullying going on because it was up to Everybody to do something to help the kids being bullied but Nobody did.

Everybody did absolutely nothing because they thought that Anybody could have helped to solve the problem.

Everybody thought that Anybody would help.

Nobody realized that Everybody would do nothing to help.

As it happened, Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done to stop the bullying.

Photo by coltrane004

Guess What? I’m Back!

GUESS WHAT? I’m back and my blog has a brand new look but I am still the old me! I am so excited about the renovations here because I want to make it easier for you to figure out all of the things that I already know.

I want you to be able to see what needs to be done to help everyone feel better about themselves no matter what their differences are! And I want to make the process faster because I am impatient sometimes!

It’s kind of like being in the dark until the curtains are opened. You know what it feels like when the warm sunshine lights up your world and the darkness goes away. Sunshine helps everyone feel better and when we feel better, we can improve the way we see ourselves and the world around us.

That’s what my new website can and will do. And guess what? Along with the new look of the site, I am going to be putting my two cents more because I know all about overcoming adversity and how important self esteem is.

That’s all there is to it! Don’t forget that I’m Rugby Jones to the rescue!

We are sure happy that you came to visit. Don’t be a stranger.

Don’t Go Near Him…Something Is Wrong With Him

don't be afraidDon’t Go Near Him

One day when I went to the pet supply store to get dog food, I took Rugby with me. It was a rainy day and there were very few people in the store. As always, Rugby was scoping out everything at his eye level. I was focused on my errand and we were walking in that direction when I heard people talking.

I heard a child say, “Mommy look at that doggie in the wheelchair.” Then I heard a woman’s voice saying, “Don’t go near him. There is something wrong with him. Let’s just go the other way. No. You can’t pet him. Something is wrong with him.” This was not the first time something like this happened.

It was almost like Rugby was telling himself what to do, “If they can’t come to me, I’ll go to them.”

At that moment, I felt Rugby pulling me down the aisle and around the corner to the next aisle where the children and their mother were. I saw the mother put her hands on her children’s shoulders and hold them. Rugby pulled me right over to them and then barked. It wasn’t a loud bark. It was more like a “woof.”

The little girl looked at her mother and asked her, “Mommy, can’t we pet him please?”  I don’t know if the mother was embarrassed or just confused but she still held their shoulders and said nothing. “Mommy, can we?”

I decided that I needed to put my two cents in so I said, “It’s okay. They can pet him. They won’t catch anything.” She gave me a questioning look and I told her that I knew that she was concerned and that Rugby wouldn’t hurt her children in any way, quite the contrary.

She released her hold on the children as if to tell them that they could pet him. I explained that Rugby had been in an accident and that he needed the wheelchair because of his paralysis.

As the children and Rugby interacted happily, she and I talked. When we were ready to say good bye, she told her children something that I will never forget.

“Emily and Alex, don’t ever be afraid of anyone who is different from you. Try to understand what they are going through and be kind because that is how you want to be treated.”

What a lesson those children learned on that day. What lessons are you teaching your children?

Meltdown or Tantrum?

girl-meltdownWe were in the store and saw a child having a meltdown. We felt bad for the child but we felt even worse for the mom who was trying to handle the situation. Not even 10 feet away from them stood a couple who started talking to each other in loud voices about how spoiled the child was.

It got even worse when they began to criticize the mother for not being strict enough with the child. Then they talked about how they would never have tolerated that kind of behavior with their own children. Everyone heard them and then the mother began to sob. It was time to step in and help. After all, that’s what we do!

Meltdown or Tantrum?

GUESS WHAT? We found out that the mom was dealing with her daughter who has Sensory Processing Disorder. She was exhausted and couldn’t handle the constant criticisms anymore. We asked the onlookers if they had raised  kids with special needs? They said that their children were very normal and that using special needs as an excuse wasn’t the way to raise a child.

Have you ever been critical of a parent who was dealing with a child’s meltdown in a public place?

Think about a few things and maybe… just maybe you will be more understanding. A tantrum and a sensory meltdown are two totally different things. A tantrum happens when a child doesn’t get something he or she wants or needs.

A sensory meltdown happens when the child feels overwhelmed!

Meltdown or Tantrum?

Maybe the noises in the store or too many things to focus on send a child with SPD into a meltdown. For onlookers, a tantrum and a sensory meltdown appear to be the same but they far from being the same. For the child with SPD, too many sensory inputs flood the brain and a meltdown is a way to release the pressure.

Have you ever tried to use a funnel to fill a bottle with some liquid only to see that too much liquid causes the bottle to spill over? Have you ever turned on a hose to fill a bucket only to see that the pressure of the water in the hose causes the bucket to spill over?  Both of these situations are only mild examples of what a child with SPD is feeling. Do you feel less critical? We hope so!!

 

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Differences Make Life Interesting

People worry about differences. Animals just deal with differences in the best way possible. This is Lucy and she has only three legs… not four.

She had an accident when she was a puppy and lost her fourth leg. Is she feeling sorry for herself? Is she worrying about her future and what her life be like with only three legs? NO! Lucy is waking up each morning and facing the new day with a positive attitude. Why? Because she gets it. Lucy gets that life is what we make it and differences are not the focus! Things happen. Good and and bad happens but we have a choice. We can live our lives with gusto and happiness or we can spend our lives feeling sorry for ourselves because we were dealt a bad hand. We can focus on what others have and what others can do or we can focus on life and all that it has to offer!

What a waste it is to teach children the message that they are not the same or that they have less than other kids. Wouldn’t it be better to teach them that everyone is different? That everyone has more or less than they do? That everyone comes from a different place and everyone has an issue? Wouldn’t it be better to teach them that color, race, religion, and every other difference is just that? A Difference and not a bad thing?

Think about it. Think about your own problems. Think about what problems others have and what is happening in the world today. Then… think about Lucy! Think about how she deals with adversity and how she faces each day.

Maybe… just maybe… you might begin to understand what Lucy, the three legged dog understands. Accept differences and embrace differences! Welcome everyone who is different because they may be the very ones who change your life for the better!

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