Tag: Bullying

Empathy: Feelings

empathyEmpathy! Feelings! The explanation of feelings helps to teach empathy and instill kindness in children. Kids can be mean! And the best way to teach them kindness is to help them see how others feel.

A little girl who comes to school wearing pretty and expensive clothes makes an unkind remark to a little girl who doesn’t wear that type of clothes. Why? Because her parents can’t afford them or she doesn’t feel comfortable in them.

Sympathy and empathy are not the same thing. Children can be sympathetic when they view a situation through their own eyes and or experiences.

In contrast, empathy requires that a person has the ability to “step outside” of himself or herself. That person must enter the “internal” world of another person. When this happens, a person can experience the other’s emotions from that person’s vantage point.

Sometimes situations, events or people can jump start a child’s ability to empathize. When children’s hearts are touched, often they automatically react with empathy. When empathy comes into play, a child’s attachment to himself or herself takes a “back seat” to trying to help. The following video tells it all.

When The Best Of Us Steps Up, Our Nation Stands A Little Taller…Share this…Credit to: Canadian Tire

Posted by Most Viral Web on Friday, February 17, 2017

Empathy! Feelings!

In the picture above, the two children that Rugby is speaking to must be guided into a state of empathy if they don’t arrive at that state naturally. Maybe the little girl in the dress has been told that how someone dresses reflects her value. Maybe she has been taught that she is pretty too often and she begins to equate what she has and how she dresses with who she is. As young as she is, she may have become vain and self important.

Hence, an approach might be to ask her how she would feel if her parents could no longer purchase expensive clothes for her. What if she had to go to school in clothes like the other girl is wearing? How would she react if kids made fun of her and her clothes? Would she feel better if someone tried to understand how she is feeling and say or do things that might help her feel better?

Finally, a parent or teacher… or dog friend might tell a child how proud he or she will be if this child shows kindness and acceptance of the little girl who is so sad.  Honest praise goes a long way!

Self-Esteem Building – Part Two

self-esteem

Self-Esteem matters! If this were your child or a child you care about, how would you handle things with him? Well, I don’t have kids but I sure know about them and I know how kids like this often become targets of bullying.

If you ask yourself what do you want for him or her? Be realistic okay? If your kid is short, he won’t usually become tall overnight. If he wears glasses or needs some other type of assistance, that isn’t likely to change. There isn’t any point in telling a kid that he or she is perfect because they know differently. What’s important is to do things that help a child believe in himself or herself. Their self-esteem matters and kids need to understand that the way they think about themselves is the same way that others think about them.

Self-Esteem

If you look at the picture above, you see a kid who is facing two potential bullies. Instead of the boy showing them a fearful and easily bullied kid, he is facing them and saying “Hi.” Why? Because he has a realistic knowledge of who he is and what he is about. He may not be the most popular or the most athletic or the best looking but he is who he is! He likes himself and others see that. When kids like themselves the world sees them differently!

Spend some time where parents and kids gather. You’ll hear all kinds of comments from parents like, “You were wonderful. You did the best. No one else did as well as you did.” That seems like a good thing… right?

New studies are showing that exaggerated or overstated praise can back fire especially with children with low self-esteem. What the studies found was that kids with low self-esteem were more likely to choose easier tasks after they received inflated statements of praise. Often they will be afraid of failure because so much is expected of them. The opposite is true when parents say things like, “You worked hard.”

…Researchers often refer to this constructive encouragement as process praise. Letting the child know exactly what they are doing well and noticing the detail of their work is critical. Trading ambiguous praise for detail-oriented questions lets the child know that their work is interest-worthy. When children are explicitly told what they are doing right (e.g. “good job at cleaning up the blocks”), it’s more effective in changing future behaviors and promoting improved effort. *

Maybe it’s time to think about how you praise your child!

Building Children’s Self-Esteem: Part One

building children's self-esteemWhat if you knew the secret to building children’s self-esteem? You could change the world s of all of the children  who suffer from poor self-esteem. You could bully-proof children who have been targeted by bullies. You could help children be more successful in life!

Here’s the thing and I get it. I do know the secret to building children’s self-esteem and it starts when kids are little.  You may be thinking, “What does a dog know?” Well, I’ll tell you.  If you want to help little kids understand that they should be respected and valued, you need to help them understand that everyone is different and that’s okay. They need to understand that being different isn’t a bad thing. In fact being different can be a very good thing. But you need to do it in a fun way and that’s where I come in.

Building Children’s Self-Esteem

Kids love animals especially dogs. I love kids and kids listen to me because I think the same way that they think. I just have more personal experiences that taught me a lot! Plus, I don’t lecture them!  We all know that kids tune out when they get lectured… right? They also tune out when parents tell them how wonderful they are at everything they do and say… every minute of every day.

Look at the picture above.  What do you see? Maybe you will say, “I see the reflection of a happy kid and yours truly smiling.” Well look again! Look at the back of the boy looking at the reflection. He is small. His shoulders are down and his hands are down. He isn’t anything like his reflection. He sees himself quite differently because we both talked. We both listened. We both learned about each other and then he began to get my message. He understood what I meant about building children’s self-esteem. He understood how to begin to build his own self esteem.Building Children's Self-Esteem

Look at the second picture. When we first got together, that is what his reflection looked like. He was sad and he had been bullied. He didn’t see himself as special or of value.

He told me that his parents tell him all the time that he is handsome and talented and that kids will figure that out.  Then he told me that he doesn’t believe his parents because they complement him all the time. He told me that they never tell him anything except how perfect he is. He was confused because he heard one thing at home and something different at school.

To be continued.

Kids Worry: School Starting
Kids Worry: School Starting

kids worryKids worry about school starting because they may not know what to do or where to go.  Whether they are popular or not they will still worry.  Kids with special needs worry more because of the complexities that they must face. Whenever a new school year begins, all kids need to know what to expect.

There are a lot of things that parents can do so that their children will feel more confident. Since most schools offer the opportunity for parents and children to visit prior to the first day of school, the task should be an easy one. Hopefully your child’s school does have a plan in place so that it will be a simple process.  When your child’s school doesn’t have a plan, you will have to make your own arrangements.

To illustrate, you can make a call and talk to someone at the school and relate your concerns.  During the call, ask  if your child can meet his or her teachers. Additionally, ask for a map of the school so that you and your child can get to know where things are. Remember that it is especially important for children to know where their classrooms, the cafeteria, locker and rest rooms are.

Finally, one of the best gifts that parents and teachers can do for a child is to find a buddy who knows where things are and one who will be willing to sit with the child at lunch. As we all know, it is demoralizing to have to sit alone. Even more, it offers bullies a good opportunity to make fun of a child.

These things may not seem important to you as an adult but please don’t dismiss their concerns.  The issue becomes magnified when children are going to a new school or when they have special needs. In addition, kids worry about being bullied if they don’t know where they are going or what they need to do.

In addition, parents please talk to your children about helping out new kids. After that, talk to them about bullying and let them know that you will not tolerate it.

Specifically Kids Worry about Things Like:

·         Will I know where to go for my classes?

·         Will anyone sit with me at lunch?

·         Will I be able to find my locker?

·         Will I be able to open my locker?

·         Will I be able to find the rest room when I need to?

·         Will I get on the right bus?

·         Will kids like me?

·         Will I make new friends?

We would love to hear your suggestions as to help children prepare for the start of the new school year.

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Different Dog and Different Kids
Different Dog and Different Kids

Different DogThe Diary of a Different Dog is a hit! This is very exciting news! Kids and parents like The Diary of a Different Dog! I mean they really like it! Look at the picture that we just received. Isn’t she just precious? Her dad sent it to us after the book arrived at his house. He said that his daughter read it without being asked to read it.

That says a lot. Don’t you think? I sure do because lots of times kids don’t want to read. They just want to play video games or watch TV. To make it even better, he said he saw her read it again before she went to bed! (I wonder what she did to her finger. I hope it gets better soon!)

Do you want to know what I think? Well, I’ll tell you. I think people like it because the pictures inside are epic. Do you know what epic means? Well epic means that they are very impressive and larger-than-life! I think they are epic because they are so colorful and they really get my message across to the readers or the kids who are getting read to.

Different Dog and Different Kids

I know what that message is because it is my message! The message is all about helping kids understand that they need to believe that they are great even if they are different! In fact they need to believe they are great BECAUSE they are different!

I learned that from my very own experience. Well, I’m sure you already know that if you know about me. In case you don’t, I’ll tell you a little about what happened. I started using a wheelchair named “Zoomie” to get around after I got badly hurt. I learned that people and animals often need some kind of helper to assist them in some way.

Do you or someone you know need a helper of some kind? I bet you do. If you don’t know anyone now, I’m sure that you will be lucky enough to meet someone someday. Do you know why I say lucky? Well, that person or animal will be able to show you a lot about courage and what’s really important in life! Trust me. I know what I’m talking about because I am a different dog and I know about different kids!

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