Tag: compassion

Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy
Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy

bully - mother teaches empathyBully: Mother Teaches Empathy.

A mother hears her daughter badmouthing someone and worries that she is a bully. Later she finds out that her daughter is texting her friends about the same boy. She is saying unkind things and seems to take pleasure in putting him down.

The mother knows that her daughter is a good person and tries to find bulBully - mother teaches empathya way to teach her about the damage that she is doing. She wants her to understand the effect that her words will have on the boy so that she will stop being a bully. She wants her to understand that words cannot be taken back. She wants to teach her daughter empathy and how it would feel if someone did that to her.

Bully - mother teaches empathyShe has an idea. She tells her daughter to hammer a nail in the fence behind their house every time she says something unkind about the boy. At first, the daughter seems excited at the prospect of hammering nails and gossiping. After a few days, the mother looks out of the window and sees that her daughter has hammered a lot of nails into the fence.

She doesn’t appear to be as excited to be hammering nails as she was on the first day. For the next few days, the mother watches her daughter and sees that she is hammering fewer and fewer nails into the fence.bully - mother teaches empathy She says nothing.
bullyAfter a few days, the daughter comes to her mother and says that hammering the nails isn’t as much fun anymore. She says that she had stopped saying unkind things about the boy and being a bully. (Little did she know that the boy is on the other side of the fence. His heart is hurting. He doesn’t understand what he had done to make her want to bully him by  saying such unkind things about him.)

Bully: Mother Teaches Empathy

bully - mother teaches empathyThe mother waits a while and then asks her daughter how she would feel if someone had said the same things about her that she had said about the boy. Her daughter answers, “I guess I would feel bad.” The mother then asks her to write down the things she had said about the boy. Unhappily, the daughter begins her task by trying to remember all the things she had said. When she writes them down on paper, they seem far worse than when she had said them. They seemed mean.

bully - mother teaches empathyThe mother says, “The problem with unkind words is that they can never be taken back. Even if the person forgives you, the pain of what you said remains in the person’s heart.” Her daughter understands  but the mother isn’t finished. “Now, you need to go out to the fence and remove all of the nails you hammered into it. Remember that each nail represents an unkind word that you said about the boy. The daughter goes out and begins to remove the nails.

As she removes each nail and looks at the holes in the fence, she begins to understand. When she had removed all the nails and sees all the holes, she feels sad. The fence looks terrible and she thinks  about how terrible the boy must feel since she had said so many unkind things about him.

bullyShe walks closer to the fence and then she sees something through the holes. She sees the boy she had been spreading rumors about. She sees  how sad he looks and she feels  terrible. She realizes that she had destroyed the fence and broke his heart. She thinks  about her mom’s words, “The problem with unkind words is that they can never be taken back. Even if the person forgives you, the pain of what you said remains in the person’s heart.” She knows she can’t  fix the holes in the fence but she has another idea.

She walks over to the other side of the fence where the boy is standing. She sees him looking at the holes. She wonders how she could have been so unkind. Really, what had he done to her? She calls to him. bullyI am so sorry. I was mean and I feel terrible. It was then that she sees the tears in his eyes. “That’s okay,” he says. “I forgive you but I don’t understand what I did to make you want to hurt me so much.” She answers, “You were just being you and I couldn’t accept anyone who acted different from me. I was wrong to hurt you and I am sorry. How can I make it up to you?” He looks at her and says, “Maybe you could tell everyone that I’m not so bad after all.”

“I’ll do better than that. I am going to have a party just for you and invite my friends and your friends too. That way everyone will know that I was wrong and you forgive me. Maybe that way, we can put all of this behind us. What do you think? The boy answers, “I’m not sure. Maybe after a while, I would like that but not right now. Thanks anyway.”

With tears in her eyes, the daughter goes home to tell her mother what happened. “I tried to make it up to him but it didn’t work,” she says.

Her mother looks at her with great pride and understanding. “You made a mistake. You hurt someone when you talked behind his back in an unkind way. You apologized and admitted you were wrong. That took strength. You learned so many lessons this week. You learned that your actions do affect other people and that you must be careful of what you say and do. You learned that everything isn’t just about you.

You learned about compassion and empathy. Now you will be compassionate and empathize with others because you have learned how to walk in the other person’s shoes. You learned that you won’t build yourself up by tearing someone else down. And you learned that what you say about others doesn’t define them, it defines you. That’s a lot to learn in a few days. I am so very proud of you. Don’t be afraid to reach out to the boy  again. Maybe the next time, he will want to be your friend.

Empathy: Feelings

empathyEmpathy! Feelings! The explanation of feelings helps to teach empathy and instill kindness in children. Kids can be mean! And the best way to teach them kindness is to help them see how others feel.

A little girl who comes to school wearing pretty and expensive clothes makes an unkind remark to a little girl who doesn’t wear that type of clothes. Why? Because her parents can’t afford them or she doesn’t feel comfortable in them.

Sympathy and empathy are not the same thing. Children can be sympathetic when they view a situation through their own eyes and or experiences.

In contrast, empathy requires that a person has the ability to “step outside” of himself or herself. That person must enter the “internal” world of another person. When this happens, a person can experience the other’s emotions from that person’s vantage point.

Sometimes situations, events or people can jump start a child’s ability to empathize. When children’s hearts are touched, often they automatically react with empathy. When empathy comes into play, a child’s attachment to himself or herself takes a “back seat” to trying to help. The following video tells it all.

When The Best Of Us Steps Up, Our Nation Stands A Little Taller…Share this…Credit to: Canadian Tire

Posted by Most Viral Web on Friday, February 17, 2017

Empathy! Feelings!

In the picture above, the two children that Rugby is speaking to must be guided into a state of empathy if they don’t arrive at that state naturally. Maybe the little girl in the dress has been told that how someone dresses reflects her value. Maybe she has been taught that she is pretty too often and she begins to equate what she has and how she dresses with who she is. As young as she is, she may have become vain and self important.

Hence, an approach might be to ask her how she would feel if her parents could no longer purchase expensive clothes for her. What if she had to go to school in clothes like the other girl is wearing? How would she react if kids made fun of her and her clothes? Would she feel better if someone tried to understand how she is feeling and say or do things that might help her feel better?

Finally, a parent or teacher… or dog friend might tell a child how proud he or she will be if this child shows kindness and acceptance of the little girl who is so sad.  Honest praise goes a long way!

Don’t Go Near Him…Something Is Wrong With Him

don't be afraidDon’t Go Near Him

One day when I went to the pet supply store to get dog food, I took Rugby with me. It was a rainy day and there were very few people in the store. As always, Rugby was scoping out everything at his eye level. I was focused on my errand and we were walking in that direction when I heard people talking.

I heard a child say, “Mommy look at that doggie in the wheelchair.” Then I heard a woman’s voice saying, “Don’t go near him. There is something wrong with him. Let’s just go the other way. No. You can’t pet him. Something is wrong with him.” This was not the first time something like this happened.

It was almost like Rugby was telling himself what to do, “If they can’t come to me, I’ll go to them.”

At that moment, I felt Rugby pulling me down the aisle and around the corner to the next aisle where the children and their mother were. I saw the mother put her hands on her children’s shoulders and hold them. Rugby pulled me right over to them and then barked. It wasn’t a loud bark. It was more like a “woof.”

The little girl looked at her mother and asked her, “Mommy, can’t we pet him please?”  I don’t know if the mother was embarrassed or just confused but she still held their shoulders and said nothing. “Mommy, can we?”

I decided that I needed to put my two cents in so I said, “It’s okay. They can pet him. They won’t catch anything.” She gave me a questioning look and I told her that I knew that she was concerned and that Rugby wouldn’t hurt her children in any way, quite the contrary.

She released her hold on the children as if to tell them that they could pet him. I explained that Rugby had been in an accident and that he needed the wheelchair because of his paralysis.

As the children and Rugby interacted happily, she and I talked. When we were ready to say good bye, she told her children something that I will never forget.

“Emily and Alex, don’t ever be afraid of anyone who is different from you. Try to understand what they are going through and be kind because that is how you want to be treated.”

What a lesson those children learned on that day. What lessons are you teaching your children?

Our Mission: Spread Kindness, Acceptance, Respect

The character of Rugby Jones, this site and the books, The “Tail” of Rugby Jones: A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability and The Diary of a Different Dog – Rugby Jones are based on the true story of Claudia Broome’s extraordinary Pembroke Welsh Corgi named Rugby Jones.

Claudia Broome is a noted motivational speaker, author, and coach who shares the incredibly uplifting, heartwarming and motivational story about her beloved dog Rugby Jones, who lost the use of his hind legs in a terrible accident.

Claudia decided to write Rugby’s adventures from his own point of view and with children of all ages in mind, especially those who struggle with any “different-ness” that can set them apart from others.

Using Rugby as an example, Claudia teaches children the value of accepting and respecting diversity and offering kindness to everyone. She gives encouragement to everyone who must live with and overcome the pain of any adversity.

Rugby and his wheelchair Zoomie could just as easily be any person in a wheelchair, any person who suffers from obesity, any person who is mentally challenged or any person with a life-threatening illness whose world is his bed.
His Can Do attitude goes far beyond what the adult world calls disability. For Rugby, it is all about ability, the ability to live every day fully regardless of his particular circumstance.

The books and this site are written in Rugby Jones’ lovably-cocky young voice.

He lives with a “can do” attitude and because of that he has become an example of the fact that life is what each of us makes it. Rugby Jones offers a convincing message to everyone who reads, listens or watches him make his way through the ups and downs of life. That message is based on acceptance, respect, kindness, belief, courage and a positive attitude. Rugby’s heartwarming and humorous narrative is filled with hope and understanding as he shares his earnest lessons on life.

Guess what? Rugby just might be your hero if you give him the chance.

Through her speeches, workshops and coaching, Claudia Broome, is on a mission to spread kindness, acceptance and understanding and ultimately help to stamp out bullying. Her speeches couple the importance of love and support from families with lessons that teach how to identify and remove the power from bullies.

Says Broome, “The hundreds of parents and kids who have connected with me via www.rugbyjones.com regarding their own experiences have provided me with the expertise to see what works and what doesn’t when it comes to bullying.”

Claudia is well received by all who hear her message because she knows the facts and entertains her audiences.  She offers positive ways that children and adults can transform the atmosphere in a school into a climate that cultivates compassion and kindness.

To schedule Claudia to speak to you or your group, and for rates, please email request to claudia@rugbyjones.com and place ***Speaking*** on the subject line.

Election Day ~ Setting Examples

Election DayElection Day is today. That means that today is the day that adults vote for the people they want to be in office. Do you know what I don’t get? They are supposed to set an example for kids but it seems like that isn’t happening when there are elections. On the TV there are all kinds of ads telling people that this person lies or this person doesn’t pay taxes or this person doesn’t care about people.

Why don’t they talk about the things that could set a good example for kids? I don’t think there are any schools that would allow Election Day as a time to badmouth the other kids who are running for office. I don’t think they would let a kid call another kid a liar just to get more votes. Why should adults be allowed to do unkind things just because it is Election Day?

Election Day ~ Setting Examples

I heard a man say a curse word in the store the other day. Election DayThen I heard the son say the same word and the dad yelled at him. He told him never to say that word. The boy said, “But you said it Dad.” Then I heard the dad say something that didn’t make any sense. I heard him say,  “Do as I say not as I do!” 

Why would any adult think that kids won’t copy the things that they do? I mean that is really dumb. Kids think their parents are everything and they want to be like them so they want to do the same things that their parents do. If a parent calls someone a liar or stupid, the kids will think that they can and should call other kids names.

I may not be an adult but I get it. I get that Election Day is a day that adults can teach kids a lot about how to live their lives in a kind way. That means that politicians, parents, teachers and every single adult everywhere should set a good example by good actions. They shouldn’t expect kids to do as they say but not as they do.

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