Tag: empathy

Empathy: Feelings

empathyEmpathy! Feelings! The explanation of feelings helps to teach empathy and instill kindness in children. Kids can be mean! And the best way to teach them kindness is to help them see how others feel.

A little girl who comes to school wearing pretty and expensive clothes makes an unkind remark to a little girl who doesn’t wear that type of clothes. Why? Because her parents can’t afford them or she doesn’t feel comfortable in them.

Sympathy and empathy are not the same thing. Children can be sympathetic when they view a situation through their own eyes and or experiences.

In contrast, empathy requires that a person has the ability to “step outside” of himself or herself. That person must enter the “internal” world of another person. When this happens, a person can experience the other’s emotions from that person’s vantage point.

Sometimes situations, events or people can jump start a child’s ability to empathize. When children’s hearts are touched, often they automatically react with empathy. When empathy comes into play, a child’s attachment to himself or herself takes a “back seat” to trying to help. The following video tells it all.

When The Best Of Us Steps Up, Our Nation Stands A Little Taller…Share this…Credit to: Canadian Tire

Posted by Most Viral Web on Friday, February 17, 2017

Empathy! Feelings!

In the picture above, the two children that Rugby is speaking to must be guided into a state of empathy if they don’t arrive at that state naturally. Maybe the little girl in the dress has been told that how someone dresses reflects her value. Maybe she has been taught that she is pretty too often and she begins to equate what she has and how she dresses with who she is. As young as she is, she may have become vain and self important.

Hence, an approach might be to ask her how she would feel if her parents could no longer purchase expensive clothes for her. What if she had to go to school in clothes like the other girl is wearing? How would she react if kids made fun of her and her clothes? Would she feel better if someone tried to understand how she is feeling and say or do things that might help her feel better?

Finally, a parent or teacher… or dog friend might tell a child how proud he or she will be if this child shows kindness and acceptance of the little girl who is so sad.  Honest praise goes a long way!

Empathy Is Caring

empathyWhen I think about things that have made me the happiest, I think about people and animals that have shown how much they care because they had empathy. Empathy shows caring. Don’t you agree? It’s really strange because I keep hearing people say that money will make them happy or a bigger house or a nicer car will make all of the difference. I hear kids say that if they could be on the football team or in the popular group, they would be happy.

Do you know what I think? I think that when people place focus on one special thing to make them happy, they will miss all of the wonderful things that might make all of the difference for them. They forget to show or appreciate empathy.

Someone shared this story with us. I think it may change your day. At the very least, it will help you understand caring and empathy.

Empathy

“A storeowner was tacking a sign above his door that read “Puppies for Sale.” Signs like that have a way of attracting small children, and sure enough a little boy appeared under the storeowner’s sign. “How much are you going to sell the puppies for?” the little boy asked. The storeowner replied, “anywhere from $30 to $50.” The little boy reached into his pocket and pulled out some change. “I have $2.37” he said. “May I please look at them?” The storeowner smiled and whistled and out of the kennel came Lady, who ran down the aisle of his store followed by five teeny, tiny balls of fur.

One puppy was lagging considerably behind. Immediately the little boy singled out the lagging, limping puppy and said, “What’s wrong with that little dog?” The storeowner explained that the veterinarian had examined the little puppy and had discovered that it didn’t have a hip socket. It would always limp. It would always be lame. The little boy became excited. “That is the puppy I want to buy.” The storeowner said, “No, you don’t want to buy that little dog. If you really want him, I’ll just give him to you.”

The little boy got quite upset. He looked straight into the store owner’s eyes, pointing his finger, and said, “I don’t want you to give him to me. That little dog is worth every bit as much as all the other dogs and I’ll pay full price. In fact, I’ll give you $2.37 now and 50 cents a month until I have him paid for.”

The storeowner countered, “You really don’t want to buy this little dog. He is never going to be able to run and jump and play with you like the other puppies.” To his surprise, the little boy reached down and rolled up his pant leg to reveal a badly twisted, crippled left leg supported by a big metal brace. He looked up at the storeowner and softly replied, “Well, I don’t run so well myself, and the little puppy will need someone who understands.”

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” ~ Mark Twain

Election Day ~ Setting Examples

Election DayElection Day is today. That means that today is the day that adults vote for the people they want to be in office. Do you know what I don’t get? They are supposed to set an example for kids but it seems like that isn’t happening when there are elections. On the TV there are all kinds of ads telling people that this person lies or this person doesn’t pay taxes or this person doesn’t care about people.

Why don’t they talk about the things that could set a good example for kids? I don’t think there are any schools that would allow Election Day as a time to badmouth the other kids who are running for office. I don’t think they would let a kid call another kid a liar just to get more votes. Why should adults be allowed to do unkind things just because it is Election Day?

Election Day ~ Setting Examples

I heard a man say a curse word in the store the other day. Election DayThen I heard the son say the same word and the dad yelled at him. He told him never to say that word. The boy said, “But you said it Dad.” Then I heard the dad say something that didn’t make any sense. I heard him say,  “Do as I say not as I do!” 

Why would any adult think that kids won’t copy the things that they do? I mean that is really dumb. Kids think their parents are everything and they want to be like them so they want to do the same things that their parents do. If a parent calls someone a liar or stupid, the kids will think that they can and should call other kids names.

I may not be an adult but I get it. I get that Election Day is a day that adults can teach kids a lot about how to live their lives in a kind way. That means that politicians, parents, teachers and every single adult everywhere should set a good example by good actions. They shouldn’t expect kids to do as they say but not as they do.

Bullying: Make It Simple

bullyingWhat is the deal with bullying? I mean really? What is it that give bullies such a charge when they are mean?

Maybe the bullies…

  • Don’t feel empathy and so they can’t understand how bullied kids feel.
  • Think there is some pay off for hurting other kids.
  • Are jealous of other kids.
  • Don’t have to suffer consequences.
  • Haven’t been taught about The Golden Rule.

Whatever the reasons are, something needs to be done to stop them. I think a lot of people make bullying situations too complicated. When that happens, the solution to stopping the bullies gets too complicated. When solutions are too complicated, nobody succeeds.

Who wants complicated? Being nice is simple and so should the way we stop bullying. Since bullies aren’t kind we need to do simple things to stop them. When the bullying situations are explained in simple ways, the solutions can be explained in simple ways that everyone gets. When they get it, they can succeed at stopping the bullies.

Bullying – Make It Simple

If you are a kid:

  • Team up with a kid who is being bullied and ask other kids to join your team. There is strength in numbers.
  • Ask someone specific to team up with you if you are being bullied. Then ask that kid to get others to team up with you.
  • Try not to show your sadness when someone hurts your feelings. Instead you can say something like, “ Does making a comment like that help you feel better about yourself?” And then walk away.

If you are an adult:

  • Pay closer attention to what is happening with the kids around you.
  • Let kids know that bullying will not be tolerated and give appropriate consequences.
  • Be fair and make sure that the consequences apply to everyone. Don’t make excuses. Bullying is bullying.

That’s pretty simple… don’t you think? Kindness is shameless and painless. I would love to have you on the Rugby Jones’ No Bully Zones Team! How about it?

Modeling Acceptance

modeling acceptanceA young boy in middle school came home one day and excitedly told his mother that he had met a new friend. He said that his new friend was really smart and that the two of them were going to work on a project for the science fair together. He said that it was going to be a project about a cow’s heart. The mom was excited for her son because of his new friend and because of his enthusiasm about the science fair.

A couple of days later, the young boy asked if his new friend could come over to play after school the next day. The mom said that it would be fine and told him to ask the boy’s mother to call so that they could work out the details. That evening the two mothers spoke and exchanged addresses, bus numbers and the like and it was all arranged. The new friend would ride home on the bus with her son and his mother would come at 5:50 PM to pick up her son to take him home.

The next day, the two boys got off the bus and ran into the kitchen hungry for a snack. The young boy introduced his new friend to his mom and they began to devour their milk and cookies before heading outside to play. The time few by and the mom was thrilled that the boys got along so well because that wasn’t always the case with new friends who came to visit. When it began to get dark, the mom called the boys inside and suggested that they talk about their science project.

Modeling Acceptance:

Sometime later the doorbell rang and the visiting boy’s mother could be seen through the window. The mom invited her inside and the two mothers discussed the events of the day and their happiness about the new friendship that was developing. The mothers had a lot in common and looked forward to the possibility of their own growing friendship.

The mother and son left after the young boy thanked his new friend’s mother for the milk and cookies and for inviting him. All were happy and waved goodbye.

The young boy who had invited his new friend to play went upstairs to work on his homework before dinner. The mom felt good about the afternoon and happily prepared the family’s dinner.

Sometime later, the young boy came running down the stairs shouting, “Mom! Mom!” “What is it?” the mom asked. Her son said, “I forgot to tell you that he was black.” The mother gave her son a hug and said, “I did notice that.” Her son said, “But I forgot to tell you that when I asked if he could come over to play.” Happily the mother realized that she was modeling acceptance for her son. The mom looked at him and asked, “Why would you think that you should have told me that?” The young boy answered, “The bus driver said ‘I hope you told your parents the color of your friend’s skin before you invited him.’”

All the mother could do was hug her son and tell him how proud she was of him that the color of someone’s skin didn’t register as important to him. She said, “Those of us who don’t see color, race, or any other differences as important are the lucky ones. Do you know why?” He looked up at her. “Because that means that there are so many more people in the world who can become our friends than will become the friends of the people who think those differences matter.” The people who aren’t modeling acceptance lose out on so much happiness and friendship.

The mom made a mental note to follow through on the bus driver’s comment.

Photo: woodleywonderworks 

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