Tag: self-esteem

Bullied? Confidence Discourages Bullies: Stand Tall

Confidence Discourages BulliesBullied? Confidence discourages bullies. Stand Tall. (Continued from Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids.) You change the way you present yourself and the bullies’ attitude toward you will change too. Change your attitude and approach. Above all, remember that  if you are bullied, your confidence will discourage the bullies.

Since bullies tend to pick on the kids that they think are different or weak, the way you present yourself is important.

These are the suggestions I made:

  • Approach the kids who are bullying you and look them in the eyes.
  • Don’t look down and keep your arms at your sides and your feet about shoulder width apart.
  • Stay calm and don’t show any emotion.
  • Keep your eyes open and maintain eye contact with the bullies as you do this.
  • Tell them to stop the bullying. Say something like, “I know you think you’re funny but you’re not.”

Because I know Eric so well and because he told me a lot about the bullies, I suggested a few more things for him to say.  I suggested that he talk with them in the lunchroom where there were adults around.

Confidence Discourages Bullies

Eric did a great job. When he got home, he told me some of the things he said to the bullies.

“What I eat doesn’t make me cool or not cool. I want you to stop making fun of my food. We could have a great time being friends since we like to do a lot of the same things. That won’t happen if you keep up with the jokes about my food.  I know you like to skateboard, so do I. In fact, I have a quarter pipe ramp at my house and I can do kick turns, ollies, manuals, kickflips and a lot more. I can do the black diamonds on my snowboard and by the way, I play soccer and kicked 4 goals in our last game. Because I can’t eat the same kinds of foods that you can eat shouldn’t make any difference to you or anyone else. See ya around!”

Then, how cool is this? Eric saw that confidence discourages bullies as he started to leave. He turned and walked away with good posture and his head held high. As he headed for the door of the lunchroom, he heard Jack call. “Hey Eric, wait up. What you eat isn’t a reason for us not to be friends. Did you really kick four goals at your last game?”

Eric followed the suggestions and proudly and respectfully stood up for himself and it worked.

Think about how you can show your confidence to others.

Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids – I Can Help Build Self-Esteem

bulliedBullied kids are depressed kids and I know that too well. Do you want to know why? Well, I’ll tell you. I have been bullied a lot and I know how it feels. It’s all about being different in some way. Kids who are like all the other kids usually are not bullied. You would be surprised at how even a little difference can cause unkind kids to bully. Parents may not have any idea that there is something about their child that can make him or her a target of bullying.

Here is an example of what I am saying. Oh! Before I forget! If you are new here, you might not know that I am a dog. In fact, I am a Pembroke Welsh Corgi.  That makes me very different because I don’t have a tail like other dogs. Pembroke Welsh Corgis don’t have tails! I bet you didn’t know that!

There is another reason that I understand bullying. I use a wheelchair because I had a bad accident. If you are interested in finding out more about me, you can look here.

Now that you know a little about me, I will go on with what I started to say.

The other day, my mom and I were visiting some friends that were having a pool party. My friend was very sad and at first, he didn’t tell me why. Then he “spilled” everything to me when the adults went into the house. Because we were alone, he told me that he was being bullied at school. It was hard to believe because he is one very cool kid. He is smart, handsome, athletic and very kind.

Bullied Kids = Depressed Kids – I Can Help Build Self-Esteem

He told me that he was being bullied at lunchtime because of what he ate. He has a sensitivity to some foods that have wheat, sugar, and dyes. That means he can’t have sandwiches or sweet or colored foods. His mom packs his lunch with nuts, meats, vegetables, fruits and stuff like that. He was very depressed and down in the dumps about it.

We talked for a long time and I listened to the things he had to say. Because I understand bullying, there were some ideas I shared with him to help his situation.  I could see that he was not as sad after we talked. And I was sure he would feel better after he saw the bullying kids the next time.

Please come back to find out what I said and how the kids at school reacted.

Carol Dweck: Hero

Carol DweckCarol Dweck is our new hero because she really gets it! My older human sister is reading lots of things about her because she wants to be a great teacher someday. My sister told me some of the things that Carol Dweck has said and guess what? We think about a lot of things the same way. How cool is that?

Carol Dweck explains to parents and teachers that some kids who have challenges in their lives manage to succeed while others don’t.  She uses cool words that mean a lot. She says that kids who try hard and persevere have something called a growth mindset. Hmmm… I guess I have a growth mindset too!

As you know, I am very smart but Carol Dweck is way smarter than I am. That’s because I am just a dog and she is a doctor. She said, “…when students had more of a growth mindset, they held the view that talents and abilities could be developed and that challenges were the way to do it.

Carol Dweck

Learning something new, something hard, sticking to things—that’s how you get smarter.” The cool thing is that I have said the same kinds of things about how I got so smart here on my blog and in my books. Well, except that I have said them in a way that kids understand.  How cool is that? For an example, in The “Tail” of Rugby Jones: A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability, I said, “There are so many things that make people and animals different and that is a good thing. Just remember that you might need something like Zoomie to help you work hard and remind you to believe in yourself.”

My human mom taught me that, it’s so important to let children understand that failure is okay. Failure and mistakes are crucial for success to become a reality. Children need their parents to believe in their abilities, to be proud of their efforts and teach them how to learn from the negative events in their lives.

So now you know why Carol Dweck is our new hero. She gets it!

Rugby Jones’ Amazon Books

 My name is Rugby Jones and my books are available on Amazon and the MP3 audio is available right here, right now! How cool is that? I know you think it’s cool too. Guess what? All of my books have received these special awards and that makes me very happy!

I sure hope that you want to get either The “Tail” of Rugby Jones or The Diary of a Different Dog a.k.a. Rugby Jones for a special kid or kids in your life. It’s very important that that I fill you in on a few things about these books so that you will know which one or maybe ones will be best for you.

The first of my books is The “Tail” of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability. 

This is what they are saying about it:

Based on a true story, this heartwarming tale is told by Rugby who is a lovable and loving dog with great big ears and a magnetic personality. He tells his story of overcoming adversity with the wit and wisdom of an eight-year-old. Rugby’s antics and blunders will amuse and uplift the reader. He offers understanding and encouragement to those who must deal with and overcome any difference or adversity. Rugby teaches the all-important lesson that kindness and acceptance shown by children and adults alike will make the world a better place for all. Rugby has an opinion about everything and what comes out of his mouth may surprise you!

This book is in color and the images are amazing if I do say so myself. That’s why it is more expensive than the black and white version. It is $18.93 and if you click here you will be taken to Amazon.

We wanted to make the book available at a lower price so the next one is the same book (with a slightly different title) The “Tail” of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability The Wit & Wisdom of  a Lovable Dog with a Disability. (That’s me and you ill see why I am lovable when you read it!) This book is available on Amazon for only $6.92. Click here.

There is also a Kindle version of The “Tail” of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability and it is only $3.49. Try not to be confused with so many choices. Okay? click here

There is also an MP3 audio of  The “Tail” of of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey  from Disability to Ability and that is available right here. Guess what? Parents love it because they get about an hour of guilt free quiet time as their child or children listen to me talk about kindness, acceptance, diversity and working hard! Click here because the price is only$4.97.

The Diary of a Different Dog – Rugby Jones is also available on Amazon! How cool is that? This book won some pretty cool awards if I do say so myself!For the paperback version click here. And for the Kindle Version click here

This is what they are saying about this book!

Filled with colorful and meaningful images that children will relate to and understand, The Diary of a Different Dog is a rhyming picture book meant for younger children.Based on a true story, this heartwarming tale comes “straight from the dog’s mouth.” Rugby is a lovable, loving and kind rascal who understands kids and life. His story will captivate children of all ages as well as the adults who read to them. Rugby’s personality has a magnetism that connects with children in a very special way. Written in his endearing eight year old voice, Rugby offers a convincing message to everyone who reads about him or listens to his story. He offers understanding and encouragement to those who must deal with and overcome any difference or adversity. Rugby teaches the all-important lesson that kindness and acceptance shown by children and adults alike will make the world a better place for all.

Rugby has become a hero for the many children who read or had read to them The “Tail” of Rugby Jones – A Rascal’s Journey from Disability to Ability. Now Rugby hopes to become a hero for your younger child too. This is the first book in his new series: Life with Rugby Jones.

 

Self-Esteem Building – Part Two

self-esteem

Self-Esteem matters! If this were your child or a child you care about, how would you handle things with him? Well, I don’t have kids but I sure know about them and I know how kids like this often become targets of bullying.

If you ask yourself what do you want for him or her? Be realistic okay? If your kid is short, he won’t usually become tall overnight. If he wears glasses or needs some other type of assistance, that isn’t likely to change. There isn’t any point in telling a kid that he or she is perfect because they know differently. What’s important is to do things that help a child believe in himself or herself. Their self-esteem matters and kids need to understand that the way they think about themselves is the same way that others think about them.

Self-Esteem

If you look at the picture above, you see a kid who is facing two potential bullies. Instead of the boy showing them a fearful and easily bullied kid, he is facing them and saying “Hi.” Why? Because he has a realistic knowledge of who he is and what he is about. He may not be the most popular or the most athletic or the best looking but he is who he is! He likes himself and others see that. When kids like themselves the world sees them differently!

Spend some time where parents and kids gather. You’ll hear all kinds of comments from parents like, “You were wonderful. You did the best. No one else did as well as you did.” That seems like a good thing… right?

New studies are showing that exaggerated or overstated praise can back fire especially with children with low self-esteem. What the studies found was that kids with low self-esteem were more likely to choose easier tasks after they received inflated statements of praise. Often they will be afraid of failure because so much is expected of them. The opposite is true when parents say things like, “You worked hard.”

…Researchers often refer to this constructive encouragement as process praise. Letting the child know exactly what they are doing well and noticing the detail of their work is critical. Trading ambiguous praise for detail-oriented questions lets the child know that their work is interest-worthy. When children are explicitly told what they are doing right (e.g. “good job at cleaning up the blocks”), it’s more effective in changing future behaviors and promoting improved effort. *

Maybe it’s time to think about how you praise your child!

Enjoy Rugby Jones? Please spread the word :)

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)